Merry Fucking Christmas

Mr. Garrison:
I heard there is no Christmas in the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad and not in our holiday
And so every December, I go to the Middle East and say

"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus`s birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
And fucking celebrate

There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd

They've never read a Christmas story
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
And fucking celebrate

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin

On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say

Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum

In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fucking Christmas to you

On Christmas day I travel 'round the world and say
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too
Merry Fucking Christmas, to you

Thank you Mr. Hat.